Why I’m Choosing to Run a 100 Kilometer Race
I’ve purposefully mentioned ‘choice’ in my title, because nobody but me is making me do this.
I am taking on this epic challenge this year, and I wanted to talk about the choice behind it, as I think this is what makes it interesting.
Yes, more interesting than:
- the epic training schedule
- the vast amount of food I get to eat
- the chaffing, crying and possibly hallucinating
Underneath all the surface stuff that we think of when we think about Ultra Marathon racing, is the psychology behind it.
Just what is calling to me from the deep recesses of my brain, making me want to put my body and mind through such a tough process?
Existential dread
In a nutshell, it’s this.
I am a walking, talking existential crisis. Ever since I can remember, I have been afraid of being miserable like my parents were, and of not fulfilling my potential in life.
There are so many people who are trapped in the loop of living to work, then numbing themselves into oblivion.
My parents were miserable, abusive and depressive people. I ran away from home at 16 and never looked back. But that wasn’t enough to escape the loop.
I still need to ensure that I make the most out of my life, the very life that I went to such extremes at age 16 to claim for myself.
There are so many people who are trapped in the loop of living to work, then numbing themselves into oblivion.
This life is mine, and it is my responsibility to live it to the full. Ultra running is just one of many big dreams I’ve had over the years.
There aren’t enough days in a week for me to chase after everything I’ve ever dreamt of. But the ultra running dream has persisted, so I know it’s an itch I have to scratch.
