The F**kless Freedom of Ageing

Life really does begin after 40

Sarah Kat
3 min readJun 2


A woman’s hand holding a mug with the caption “choose happy”
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite

Let’s talk about the freedom that comes with years of experience.

In my younger years, I loved the concept of caring less and doing things my own way. But in truth, I still cared what people thought, and I let that fear of judgement hold me back.

It takes many years and plenty of life experience before we can truly embrace the magic of not caring for the opinions of others. We get there by pushing through our own resistance, still caring about how we look to others, but doing the hard stuff anyway.

By our 40's, we’ve had some pretty epic personality-changing experiences leave their mark…

We have seen relationships come and go. We have learned that our friends aren’t always good for us. We know that our own unique love language doesn’t always make sense to other people.

But above all, the things we used to lose sleep over are no longer the same.

Sure, we have REAL problems. Who doesn’t? But we don’t worry about the things we can’t control in quite the same way we did when we were younger.

I love this about getting older. I still have anxiety about real issues, like bills and medical problems. But I don’t have anxiety about who likes me, or who is talking behind my back.

If you want to talk about me, then go nuts. I’m busy living my life.

Layers of an onion

Movies and TV shows like to portray this change in us as an awakening that happens over night. Maybe the movie’s protagonist goes through a messy divorce, or perhaps a supporting character dies. Then suddenly, her eyes are open, and she is born again into the world.

It’s technically the same world, but with a fresh perspective and new opportunities. She gives no f**ks for the small stuff anymore!

I love this as a movie concept, but in reality, most of us experience this shift very gradually over time, and in stages rather than one big upgrade.

Sure, big things like divorce and death will happen. But in real life, those things are catalysts for a smaller changes; subtle shifts that are part of a bigger journey towards freedom.



Sarah Kat

Self help, neuropsychology, small business and marketing. An Elective Orphan and abuse survivor.