Member-only story
Never Having to Fear My Father Again
Yesterday, I realised something. I suddenly had an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I will never have to fear my father again.
Nothing much had changed in my physical world recently. This was purely a mindset thing — an awakening to a new perspective
Physically, I left the home of my abusive parents around 25 years ago.
It’s funny, we expect leaving to be the end of their control over us. But their voices echo in our heads for years to come. Decades even.
In my head, I still lived under my father’s control on some level.
It was there in the patterns I blindly repeated, in the choices I made, and the internal voice of judgement I revered.
I had taken this voice as being my own. But it never was. It was his, just disguised by the filter of my own internal narrative.
It led me to punish myself for years, defaulting to relationships with similar men, and taking on jobs and roles that weren’t truly what I wanted. But the voice in my head told me they were all I deserved.
The moment that woke me up
Without breaking any confidentiality - and I have to be careful here — it was a client of…
