Member-only story
It felt conflicting
I hadn’t seen or heard from him in years. After I’d left, in order to get away from his continuous email requests to ‘get together for a coffee’, I’d had to cut a lot of mutual contacts.
So when I received a DM from one of his friends, I immediately knew something big had happened.
Knowing how much hurt narcissists are trying to bury by behaving the way they do, my first assumption was that he must have committed suicide.
But it turned out that was not the case at all.
In the years I had been gone, he had married and been through two heart surgeries for the condition that ultimately killed him so young.
This is when the floodgates opened on all of my conflicting thoughts and feelings.
The parts I never saw
If he was married, then I found myself wondering if he had worked on his issues. Maybe he hadn’t been toxic to his new partner. Maybe he finally went to therapy.
Then I caught myself, and I remembered that it’s just this kind of Pollyanna attitude that left me wide open to a narcissist in the first place.
Most likely, he had a new supply, and tied the knot to stop her from escaping. But I will never know for sure.
